May 2012
2 tags
May 30th
99 notes
May 30th
287 notes
thewhoreors: petition for my favourite band to play every song they ever wrote in one gig no matter how long it takes
May 30th
4,352 notes
2 tags
May 30th
1,207 notes
3 tags
May 30th
116 notes
nippiminaj: Considering every band member who you’ve ever talked to for more than 3 seconds a close personal friend
May 30th
30 notes
blainethegaypirate: blainethegaypirate: blainethegaypirate: THERE IS A NAKED ASIAN MAN IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE waIT HE’S WEARING CLOTHES MY BAD WHO WEARS A TAN JOGGING SUIT
May 30th
11,178 notes
1 tag
Russell Howard last night was absolutely brilliant! I couldn’t stop laughing. Within the first few minutes I was reduced to tears, comedy genius. All of the awards! Heh.　
May 30th
2 notes
May 27th
173 notes
May 27th
390 notes
I am so excited to see Russell Howard on Tuesday *claps irl*
May 27th
1 note
Me: I shall study
Me: Stares at textbook
Me:
Me: There is no homoerotic subtext in this
Me: I must go
May 27th
16,684 notes
1 tag
godsquito: A ghost could be humping you right now and you would never know
May 27th
17,050 notes
May 27th
945 notes
3 tags
May 27th
263 notes
a blogger walks into a bar theres free wi-fi he stays forever
May 27th
5,411 notes
colfershands: the ships you shipped before you knew what shipping was
May 27th
13,335 notes
May 27th
27,090 notes
1 tag
May 27th
344 notes
May 27th
89 notes
May 27th
8,135 notes
May 27th
411 notes
2 tags
May 27th
281 notes
May 27th
843 notes
May 27th
330 notes
tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think youre clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
May 27th
19,055 notes
May 27th
2,114 notes
clairesawyer: If I was a celebrity I would go knocking on doors and be like hello yes it’s me
May 26th
57,251 notes
from zero to internet explorer how ignored do you feel
May 26th
7,100 notes
May 26th
510 notes
May 26th
351 notes
story of my life: i don't know what to wear because i look ugly in everything
May 26th
53,304 notes
I hate that feeling when you know you’re losing a friend because you can’t even keep a simple conversation going without it being awkward and there’s nothing left to say anymore
May 26th
6,410 notes
May 26th
34,661 notes
May 26th
964 notes
May 26th
51,573 notes
husband: why are you crying
me: because
husband: why tell me
me: because i HAD A BLOG ABOUT YOU WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME US BEING TOGETHER AND OMG BRB FANGIRLING HI GIVE ME UR AUTOGRAPH RIGHT NOW SO I CAN POST IT ON MY BLOG YEAH I STILL HAVE THE BLOG OMG CAN I POST OUR MARRIAGE PHOTOS ON MY BLOG TOO UGH MY FOLLOWERS WOULD LOVE THAT
May 26th
53,524 notes
i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new account
May 26th
57,940 notes
3 tags
May 26th
37 notes
May 26th
3,985 notes
some people are so cute i just wow congratulations on your dna
May 26th
28,026 notes
1 tag
May 26th
81 notes
May 26th
47 notes
May 26th
2,123 notes
May 26th
167 notes
May 23rd
738 notes
2 tags
May 23rd
369 notes
May 23rd
377 notes
May 23rd
332 notes
friend: how long does it take to get there?
me: about 5 songs
May 23rd
37,011 notes